25/june/2023
How dumb is that the first topic that im going to talk about is a guy? well, not just any guy, it's my boyfriend who we're talking about... He decided that we should take a break and im trying my best to handle it

Some moments i feel like i want him back and other i just start to overthink and feel sad because he did me wrong or because i think did him wrong, none of us did terrible things but since it's a long distance relationship its more uncertain, i suppose... i try to distract myself going to the gym or watching videos and now my body is sore and i'm building a website where i talk about him...that's kind of sad. Some other things have happened since then, and i wish i could tell him about it, for example, a teacher i know that was going to give me class this semester just passed away, for me that was really shocking, and usually i tell him everything that happens to him. I miss him.
26/June/2023
Turns out that he talked to me after i wrote that entry, and i didn't even knew how to feel, i wasn't happy or sad, i guess i just needed more time to figure out my feelings... i think that things are gonna stay the same and we are going to be together for much more time and i hope we can get along better after this break, i'm feeling more hopeful. The last days i tried to distract myself creating this website, going to starbucks or reading the diaries of Anais Nin, it was alright, i guess it worked... i would love to keep reading her the last days of summer vacation

29/june/2023
I went to the park to take a walk with my dad today in the morning, i didn’t know that there was such a big and beautiful park fairly near my house... it was full of different animals and trees, it was truly beautiful and i'm glad my dad took me there. I'm not exaggerating when i say it almost looked like we were. in japan in some instances! There were multiple people exercising, yoga, tai chi, zumba, just jogging... I even saw a woman lifting some trunks and i found that funny and interesting... I hope shes doing well. I was mad yesterday at night (for various reasons) but it really made me calm down and be hopeful. I hope i can learn the way to that park, i would love to go alone sometime to journal physically or read a book

This might be silly but i always dreamt of a sanctuary or a beautiful place where i can be in contact with nature and just relax and estrange from my daily life and everyone around me, stay away from the screen and just breathe a little. I love the gym but this is fairly different, i hope i have the opportunity to go by myself later. Anyways, it made me really happy :)

miau

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